Pie in the Eye
I love that the cold air is unapologetic about the way it thwacks you across the face no matter how undeserving we think we might be of such treatment. Have you ever wished you could do that to someone you feel has a complete knack for ticking you off and walk away feeling smug about it? In all honesty, the thought has crossed my mind on one or two occasions but you know I’m a wuss. It would be an awful thing to do really.
Me, I like the thought of throwing a gooey, messy pie better. And grinding it into (with more than a little passion) the said ticker-offerer’s face. Now that would give me a greater sense of hand-rubbing satisfaction. No, really it would! With a little wonky thinking I could almost persuade myself too that such actions were harmless even. Like I said, it would require some wonky thinking in the first instance.
It’s cool outside, cool air disturbs the thoughts, makes us dig out winter clothing again despite this being Spring. My friend Russ taught me that you can stand in a cool blast freezer in shorts and a tee-shirt and not get cold IF you stand still! It’s true. To prove this point, we took great delight in practising the science of it by inducting new candidates during their ‘tour of duty’ to his business by having a conversation in the said blast freezer. It was an equitable proposition, afterall, we were all there in the conversing stages.
We (Russ and me) stood perfectly still, the inductee couldn’t help themselves after a few minutes, and they began to rub their hands together and change leg position, first left then right then back again. We knew enough was enough when the lips got that strange blue tinge about them and Russ, well he just bored! He kinda has a short attention span. Hardest worker I’ve ever met.
The cool reminds me at times of my friend Russ. In my old life as a Recruitment Consultant he was one of those great clients that put the colour in a girl’s day. And between us, we both liked blue. We liked it alot. Oh, and just for the books, we never did it in a mean-spirited way.
We were just employing a gauge as to how long we figured the ‘wet-behind-the-ears’ one would last. If they did last for more than three days, there was a chance when the new inductee came on board they would become the instigator of the en-gauging technique. It happened to us all so I could live with that.
Did it ever hurt or harm anyone? Never! But the stories got longer when retold across the years, you know, like the proverbial ‘one that got away’ type stories, they just seemed to get longer by the memory. Funny that!
